I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
