i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize