She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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