and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
