"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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