thus making me awesome and them whores
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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