he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
