i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
