i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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