what day is it and did you see me today?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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