We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
