dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
