yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
