I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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