I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
