I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
