This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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