im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
