My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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