Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
