I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
