i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
