i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
