Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
