I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize