Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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