I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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