have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
