actually, I'm a sock model
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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