too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
