I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
