I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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