yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
