I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
