I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
