therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
