i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
