apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
