Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
