So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
