If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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