Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
