Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
