I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were trust falling into bushes
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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