He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
