I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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