Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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