Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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