Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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