He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
