Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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