I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize