i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
