kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
