How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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