Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize