My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
