Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
