Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
