Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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