its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
last night I used snow as a chaser
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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