I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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